Lubricant Exports
Scoth Burn being baited by Gandalf McFly
Scoth Burn - 17th Jul '06Hello
Good day to you, I was across your Ad on the internet posted that you are seeking for job, Well I manage my late father's company and we produce fabrics and textile and we also make supply to company in UK so presently we need a representative in the state that can be receving our payment, we supply some goods to some companies in and now they are willing to issue out our payment to us, but the problem is that we dont have a representative inUK.
This is the main reason why we want someone that will be a representative for the company in UK and also be someone that will go extra miles helping the industry in do some officail work as well.
The company is located in thailand : 996 RAMA 9 RD, BANGKAPI.
BANGKOK.
THAILAND.
ZIP CODE-2340 LK
Phone - +447031910562.
I do come and receive the funds before but presently I am on relocation to West ASIA that's why we need a temporary/permanent representative in UK.
So all you need do is recieve our paycheck anytime we have one to pick up from these companies we supply to on behalf of our company, and you have the cheque deposited in your bank and after you must have recieved clearance from your bank.
You then take percentage from the funds and get the rest sent to the branch office we given to you by the company.
You will be paid according to your qualification and payment received by you. I need you to send me your resume and also a state ID if possible.this will be for security purpose.
i will want you to get back to me fast cause there is a pending payment we need to receive soon. you can get back to me true vai-mail- MANAGERSCOTHBURNTEXTILE@YAHOOO.COM OR DIRECTORSCOTHBURNTEXTILE@YAHOO.COM
Address to the manager.
i will want you to make this a active process.i look forward in hearing from you as soon as possible.
Regards,
Scoth
Sounds promising...
Gandalf McFly - 19th Jul '06
Dear Sirs
I have been in receipt of your DELIGHTFUL letter dated on the seventeen of this SUNNY SUNNY July month in the year of Odin 2006.
I am very interested in the position of your UK representative as I have long had an interest in the dynamic world of textiles. Indeed I have recently woven a shawl from the fur of my pet gerbil Graham, it is very warm for these cold Winter nights.
Please to receive my resume as follows:
Name: Gandalf W. McFly
Date of Birth: 14th Octember 1964
Education: A Levels - Physics grade B, Anthropology grade C, Basket Weaving grade A
University: Batchelor of Arts in Medieval Finagling
Current Employment: Editor-in-Chief - Boombastic International Lubricant Exports (BILE)
Now I may ask how we are to proceed in this venture together
My very bestest
Gandalf Mcfly
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
No messing about, let's get silly!
Scoth Burn - 19th Jul '06
Hello Gandalf,
How are you today. we really appreciate your mail towards our message send to you. we want you to know that your resume as been recieved. Here is the application form below.Hope in reading from you.
APPLICATION FORM
FIRST NAME..............................................
SURNAME.........................................
ADDRESS.........................................................
CITY...........................................................
STATE....................................................
ZIP CODE..................................................
COUNTRY....................................................................
HOME PHONE NUMBER (S) ..............................................................
WORK PHONE NUMBER.................................................................
GENDER..........................................................
MARITAL STATUS........................................................
AGE...................................................
NATIONALITY..............................................
CURRENT JOB....................................
NAME OF CURRENT WORK PLACE.......................................................
ADDRESS OF CURRENT WORK PLACE.........................
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING THERE.........................
WORK EXPERIENCE/SPECILISATION......................
REFEREES(ATLEAST 2).........................................
ATTESTATION..........................................
In accordance to earlier instructions, you are required to receive payment on behalf of the above mentioned firm. You are to deduct 10% of all funds processed on a particular order & forward the balance payment via WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER to any of the companies regional that will be given to you later. You will notify the company a week ahead if eventually you want to discontinue this job,so as to terminate all payment coming your way to avoid conflict. In agreement to this kindly append signature below.
.....................................................FOR
REGARDS
Scoth
Straight in with the personal details, but no request for the bank account info just yet.
Gandalf McFly - 12th Aug '06
Scoth Burn! Scoth Burn!
Dear sirs I must appolojize for my delayed communications to you as alas I have been recently bereaved and entirely unable to cope with the most simple of tasks, only now am I finding the energy once more to continue with electronic correspondences. In an incident most grave I allowed Graham, my trusted gerbil friend to play in the front yard with his amigos when a milk float (I'm told on an errand to deliver cottage cheese to our vllage priest) crashed through my hedge and obliterated poor Graham. He was so so young, a man should never outlive his gerbil.
As for this information that you request - I may provide you with most details however I am currently in the process of relocating both the business and my living arrangements. I thank the good Lord Odin that profits have been extensive this year allowing for much upgrading! However I here provide all the details I can right now.
Gender: Male
Marital Status: Bereaved
Age: 36
Nationality: Humble servant of the Queen of England and the Commonwealth
Name of Current Workplace: Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
How Long Have You Been Working There: 8 years
Work Experience: Financial Management, Shipping and Handling, Lubrication, Weaving
Referees: Carl Hot (Manager of Overseas Development, BILE), Sanchez Dirty (Director of Corporate Finagling, BILE)
Attestation: 2.5
Also sirs I am wondering if the payment could be conducted through the BILE business account, as I am in charge of all financial dealings for BILE and could quickly make this available for our business.
I be to hopes to hear from you soonish
Gandalf McFly
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
Oops! Took me nearly a month to notice that scammer bloke had replied. Think I got my email forwarding set up wrong on Gandalf's account. Also here I completely forgot that I'd already claimed to have been born in 1964 which means that Gandalf ain't 36! Ah well, this scammer ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
Scoth Burn - 12th Aug '06
Hello Gandalf,
How was your day going?we want you to know that you are now working for the company as a representative.we want you to get back to us with the information below, so that the payment can be issue out and send to you.
1.YOUR FULL NAME
2.YOUR FULL POSTAL ADDRESS WITH ZIPCODE
3.YOUR MOBILE NUMBER WITH LAND LINE .
We will wait in reading from you today.
Regards
scoth
Looks like I'll need to see if my phony voicemail account is still functional. Time to play!
Gandalf McFly - 13th Aug '06
Mr Scoth, who's name is Scoth
You require my details, and details you shall have kind sirs. Of coursey my details:
Full Name: Gandalf Buffy McFly (no relation!!!)
Postal Address: BILE PLC, 17 Fetoonsbury Villas, Testiclavicle Village, Kent, KT76 4VW
Office Telephone Number: (00)1-320-215-9329. You will need the leading 00 to dial internationally.
Unfortunately I have no mobile phone as I am allergic to keypads and as I am in the processes of moving my living abode I also have no home number.
May I ask at this point if you are happy to be discussing this business with my secretary on the above number or if would rather to be to just deal with my good self? For if you wish to keep this business private maybe I could suggest a coded message? If I happen to be not available you may leave the message "Who's your daddy, I open a can of whoopass" - this is our old company slogan. This message will be very distinct so I will then know it was you who called and I may call you back as soon as humanly possibles.
Ghandi McFlange
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
Let's get the ball rolling by trying to get some comedy soundbites :)
Scoth Burn - 13th Aug '06
Hello Gandalf ,
How was your day going ? We hope you are fine . firstly, we want you to know that your details as been forward to our client in UK that is going to issue the payment to you, we will get back to you as soon as it as been issue and sent to your location.we will wait in reading from you soon.
Regards
scoth
Ooh this could be bad. If my mails get sent to someone with a full grasp of the english language I could be doomed! Doomed I tells ya!
Scoth Burn - 17th Aug '06
Hello Gandalf ,
How is your day going? we will like to let you know that the payment 0f 4,950 pounds as been issue out in your name and sent to your location . we want you to get back to us as soon as you recieve the payment.we will wait in reading from you.
Regards
scoth
Payment? Hmmm...
Scoth Burn - 23rd Aug '06
Hello
How are you doing and hows your day going, Hope all is well we just wanted to ask if at all you have recived any payment cause we think you should have recived some payment from our clients we wait in reading your mail ...
Regards
Scoth
This is odd, not asked for money yet but keeps hassling me about payments I should have received. But he seems to be still well on the hook...
Scoth Burn - 28th Aug '06
Hello Gandalf ,
How was your day going. we hope you are fine. we will like to know why we have not got any message from you.we wait in reading from you.
Regards
Scoth
Yikes! Give me a chance! Some of us are allowed to go on holiday you know!
Gandalf McFly - 28th Aug '06
Mr Scoth (Big Daddy Sir!!!)
A big hello and how are you. What is the news? How is the family? How is the pets? Do you have a dog? I have recently purchased a dog so as it may be to greet me after long day, lick my knees, guard my homestead and rescue me from snowdrifts. Him name is Cecil. And further appologise for the lack of contact but I have been called away on urgent business to the Republic of Kittenstan where one of our lubricant pipelines had ruptured and poured 90,000 litres of industrial strength KY on to small native village. I must tell you that villagers were very unpleased (and rather slippy!) but I soon appeased them with offer of free starter with every main course.
Anyhew I digress here fella??//&*88*88888%%hj5hjjkkjjhjhjhjgyughghgghgh14ventriclessssssssss Cecil! Get off keyboard!! Apologise sir!
I have received no payment or contacts from your contacts. Do they be to have my email address correctly? I look forward to receive your payment that we may proceed with this businesses.
Peace out yo
G-Dawg
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
Playing it safe as I really don't know where he's headed with this. When's he going to start asking for large amounts of currency?
Scoth Burn - 29th Aug '06
Hello Gandalf,
How is your day going. We hope all is well with you. we want you to know that the payment will get to you soon . we also want you to get back to us as soon as you recieve the payment . we will wait in reading from you.
Regards
Scoth
There's something fishy here. Well fishier than 419 scammers usually get anyways
Gandalf McFly - 30th Aug '06
Mrs Scoth
The payment! The payment! Where my word be the payment! Lost in the ether perhaps, or trapped as a prisoner of war in some deep dark filthy corner of cyberspace. I know not yet I know that I am without payments. Be there perhappps another way of doing this thing of which we do sir?
Phantastic
Gandalf
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
Scoth Burn - 30th Aug '06
Hello
How is your day going. we want you to know that the company realy appriciate your effort towards the company, we will like to know if there is any other way we can be recieving payment from our client that will be faster. kindly get back to us asap...
Regards
Scoth
Now he's asking me for suggestions? Maybe he's just new to this here scamming game...
Gandalf McFly - 31st Aug '06
Buenos Tardes Missa Scoth
Hmmm, I be to think right now aboot alternative ways of the transfer of monies. I am thinking that since I am the sole signatory on the BILE business accounts perhaps you could be to transfer there? My company has a charitable wing called "Lubricants, Adipose and Rendered Dipoles for Aid Relief Singularly Extended" (LARDARSE) - Have you maybe heard of us? Our international aid work has often brought us praise from lubricationalists worldwide. LARDARSE regularly receives large payments from wealthy entrepeneurs so it is quite normal for transfers of this size to be handle via our accounts. It would be quite simple to do this transfer as a charitable donation, with the money to be moved on later where you be wishing it. The only catch is that due to recent EU by-laws we can only be to accept donations from registered members of LARDARSE. Would you like me to complete paperwork to make you a member of LARDARSE good sir that we may continue with this business?
Refreshingly yours
Gandalf Mcfly
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
OK I'm working it round so that I can produce him a ridiculous membership certificate and ask for a picture of him with it to act as 'evidence of membership'. Almost worked with Gabriel Mukanabe, maybe we'll have some more success here.
Scoth Burn - 31st Aug '06
Hello Gandalf,
Thanks for your mail towards our message send to you. we realy appriciate your effort towards the company, we want you to forward the information of this account so that the money can be transfer to the account , we want you to know that you are to deduct 10% and the rest we be forward to the company regional given to you latter. we will wait in reading the information from you.
Regards
Scoth
Aha now we're getting to it. He's smelt a bank account and the bait is taken!
Gandalf McFly - 4th Sep '06
Sir Scoth, Sir Scoth!
As I textually surmised in my prior correspondanses we could quickly be to continue this business using LARDARSE's charitable accounts and take the moneys as a donations before passing it on to your desired destination. However this can only be done if you are to register with LARDARSE as a charitable donor - these are laws around which I cannot dodge I am afraid good sir. Do not worry though, this process would not to be very difficult and we would not be to require much personal information from you. I believe that I can satisfy the law if I can email you a membership certificate and then you could maybe fill in your name and sign it, then email me back a photograph of your good self holding the certificate. Then I can assure that you have committed to the causes of LARDARSE and its fight to provide high quality lubricant to all the poorest peoples of the world.
Let me know how you are with this venture
Gandaaaaaaaalf
Editor-in-Chief
Boombastic International Lubricant Exports
Cards on the table - I want the certificate!
Scoth Burn - 5th Sep '06
Hello Gandalf ,
Thanks for your mail towards our message send to you.We want you to know that our client as inform us that the payment will be issue in a cheque.so we want you to know that the payment we get to you soon.we will wait in reading from you as sson as you recieved the payment.
Regards
Scoth
I dunno what's going on here, he's diverged from the scammers rulebook and I'm stuck!
