Gabriel Mukanabe being baited by Gandalf McFly

Gabriel Mukanabe - 7th Aug '04
 
DEAR,
 
My name is Mr Gabriel Mukanabe. I am the eldest son of Late MR John Mukanabe of ZIMBABAWE. This might be a surprise to you on how I got your contact address. It was from the South African chamber of commerce and industry in Johannesburg, South Africa.
Consequent upon the current war against farmers in Zimbabwe by the supporters of President Mugabe, to claim all the white owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender their farm lands to his party members and his supporters. My dad was one of the richest and well known farmers in Zimbabwe, and due to the fact that he did not support such an obnoxious and retrogressive policy of MUGABE his farm was invaded by MUGABE'S thugs and everything in the farm, including my dad were destroyed. He died in the process and all the valuables in the farm were looted and those they couldn't loot, they destroyed. However, before his death, he had deposited with a security company in South Africa, the sum of m USD {twenty four million United States dollars} for safe keeping due to the heat that was turned on the opposition by MUGABE. It therefore became imperative that we had to move to South Africa, where he had deposited the money with a security company, which he declared as valuables and family treasures.
I am therefore constrained to make this contact in order to seek your help in moving this fund out from South Africa. My status as an asylum seeker does not permit me to operate any account in South Africa.
My family would be willing to offer you fifteen percent (15%) of the total sum for your assistance; five percen(5%) will be mapped out for all contingent expenses that may be incurred in the course of the transaction, while Eighty percent (80%)will be for me and my family, which we may hope to reinvest in your country. Only if you would personally assure me that you would not sit on this money when transfered into your designated account overseas.
 
We would be glad to hearing from you as soon as you receive this message showing your interest to offer your assistance, as time is not on our side.
 
Thanks and bless you.
 
Best Regards,
 
Mr. Gabriel Mukanabe
 
Just another scammer, I thought, so I sent out my stock initial reply.
 
Gandalf McFly - 19th Aug '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I am very interested in your proposal. Please could you provide me with further details of this venture, specifically how you wish to transfer this money and the time it would take to complete the deal.
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
 
It was interested enough to pull him in yet not too overboard as to scare him off. That comes later...
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 2nd Sep '04
 
DEAR SIR,
 
Thanks for your mail. I am sorry for the late response, i was away to the northern part of the country on a private mission. As a matter of fact, you will be required to come to south africa where you will have to open a non resident account. This account that you will open is where the funds which is presently deposited with the security company will be lodged once it is released. There is a banker that has promised to help us and he is working with one of the local prime banks in south africa.
He made me to understand that your visit will only last for three working days to enable the transfer to completed, before the money will be moved into your designated account that you will provide. There is no risk involved at all.
I need your private phone and fax numbers so that we shall open communication with each immediately. You should call me on this number+27-83-3314343 as soon as you get this mail. Keep me posted in order to enable us plan accordingly.
 
Regards,
 
Gabriel
 
Gandalf McFly - 7th Sep '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I am interested in proceeding with this business but would like to clarify some details with you. I was under the impression that you needed this money to be moved out of South Africa, so surely a foreign account would be much more desirable to receive this money.
As I mentioned I am financial director of 'Save Our Squid' (S.O.S.) which has a charitable wing under the name 'Protection of Indigenous Sea Squid from Offshore Farming'. P.I.S.S.O.F.F. has spent the past three years in an intense struggle against greedy European fishermen in the Eastern Baltic who have been hunting the purple-helmet and three-nosed species of sea squid for their hides and as trophies. P.I.S.S.O.F.F. has its main account in Switzerland and I am the only signatory. Would this be sufficient for the transfer? If it were then all I would ask before we could continue is that you agree to become a member of P.I.S.S.O.F.F. as member transactions to charitable organisations are exempt from all the usual paperwork attached to normal personal and business accounts. This would protect both you and me as the transfer would be anonymous.
If this is not suitable then please let me know and I can look into getting a flight over to South Africa, I would need to know details of when you would like me to arrive, which Airport, where I would be staying etc.
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
 
A little too eager I thought and I wasn't about to give out any home numbers or fly to South Africa so I thought I'd take a chance and launch into the randomness. See if I can throw in enough financial babble to get him to join my charity!
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 8th Sep '04
 
DEAR SIR,
 
Thanks for your mail. I accept whole heartedly to be a member of your organization, because i have always loved isues that has to do with charity. Let me know what it takes to be a member.
However, based on information that i got from the security company, it is possible to meet in europe, preferable in spain. There is a diplomatic arrangement that will enable the consignment to be in Europe in the next couple of days, so you have to be ready to be in madrid. I will confirm the details once the diplomatic movement is done by this week, then i will get the name of the person that you will contact.
Other logistics will done from there by moving the funds to the swiss account which is more secured. Please i need you to give me your number for me to call you so that we shall discuss about other modalities. My number again is +27-83-3314343. Keep me posted so that we shall plan accordingly.
 
Remain blessed.
 
Gab
 
Gandalf McFly - 8th Sep '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I rejoice that you have chosen to join our charity and that we may proceed with this businees. Truly you have the heart of a tiger and the stroke of a cheetah. Once I have processed your membership details I will send you your membership certificate and then book a flight so that we may meet and embrace as brothers. Would you prefer to receive this as a fax or an email attachment?
As you wish, my telephone number is (00)1-320-215-9329. You will need the leading 00 to dial internationally. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to call.
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
 
At this point I decided that I firstly needed to get some sort of voicemail set up to satisfy his insatiable appetite for my phone number and secondly to create a certificate of membership to P.I.S.S.O.F.F. with all the random bells and whistles that will make its appearance in a photo truly worthy. I won't send anything just yet though, I want to give my phone number as a demonstration of good faith before it gets really abstract.
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 9th Sep '04
 
DEAR SIR,
 
Thanks for your response. Please you should send it as an attachment via this mail box. I will call you later today so that we shall discuss. It will be imperative if we can meet in europe by next week because the more we stay, the more demurrage the consignment is attracting from the security company. The diplomat who is going to move the consignment is ready to leave by this weekend. once they reach, they will confirm a number that i will give you for to call and book your arrival time in spain. Our final port of call will be switzerland after the you must have seen the funds.
 
Keep me posted.
 
Regards,
 
GAB.
 
Wow! I was worried I'd have scared him off with the sheer randomness of the last mail but no, he still really wants to rob me. And I'm expecting a phone call later. Damn. Also I've created an abstract yet (slightly) believable certificate. Still extremely random but might work since I have him convinced of the existance of a 'Purple Helmet Sea Squid'.
 
Gandalf McFly - 9th Sep '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I am delighted to be sending you your membership certificate for P.I.S.S.O.F.F. Also as a welcome gesture, please enjoy this photograph of another group of new members taken at our recent Montreal recruitment drive.
Would it be too much to ask for you to send me a photograph of yourself with your certificate so that I may add it to our catalogue of happy, squid loving members and also so that I may recognise you when we meet next week. An email attachment would be preferable but I can also receive faxes to the number I provided yesterday. I look forward to receiving your call and making further arrangements, my friend.
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
Waaaaaaa! Sent him the certificate along with this picture of our newest 'members':

/baiting/sosmembers.jpg

 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 10th Sep '04
 
Dear sir,
 
I did call you yesterday, but you were not there. i left a voice mail, sadly i did not hear from you. I thank you for the picture, i will send you my in the next few days.
 
Keep me posted, while i wait for the information from spain by this weekend.
 
Regards,
 
gab
 
Voice mail arrived along with promises of a photograph. Cashback!
 
Gandalf McFly - 12th Sep '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I am sorry that I missed your call, I was called out of the office on urgent squid-saving business. We had received a report that a fleet of fishing trawlers had set off on an illegal squid hunting expedition just off the Swiss coast. I have spent the last two days protesting and trying to alert the world's media to this blatant disregard of clause 43 of the 1979 Marine Cephalopod Act.
I am now back in the office and would greatly enjoy speaking to you and discovering you point of view on our recent campaigns to protect our sea dwelling friends. My secretary was a little confused by your message as I felt it sensible to keep this business fairly quiet around the office so I have informed her that you are assisting with our 'P.I.S.S.O.F.F Purple Helmet Campaign'. In the event that you need to leave a message in the future could you please specify this in order to ensure your messages are passed directly to me?
Looking at my calendar, I could be in Madrid on Monday the 21st of February, hoping to leave by the Wednesday. Would this suit? I realise it's a little later than we planned but this recent campaign has set all my arrangements back a little.
 
May your loins be healthy, my brother
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 13th Sep '04
 
Dear Sir,
 
Thanks for your mail. It puzzles me that you have not made any attempt to call me. The date you set is it feb next year or was there a mistake? The feb 21 st date is too far, i thought it could fixed from now to the end of the month, in order to reduce the demurrage that the security company is charging on it. It is not going to last for more than three working days, so you to make some sacrifice on time earlier so that we shall bring it to a logical conclusion.
 
Please keep me posted on this development in order to make us move forward.
 
Regards,
 
Gab
 
Aagh! Why did I put February? I meant September! Have to talk my way out of that one.
 
Gandalf McFly - 13th Sep '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I apologise for the mix up with the dates, I had my calendar in front of me and confused my free time at the end of this month with the date of my annual tonsilectomy. The date I meant to suggest was Monday the 21st of September, which would coincide nicely with the Carne de Vaca Fiesta which runs all that week. Since this will be a very profitable venture for us both I'm sure we could afford to do a little celebrating, my friend!
I attempted to call you earlier today, at around midday in my time zone but the phone was not answered. I may have got my time zones calculations slightly off. Will you be in the office tomorrow? I should be in mine all day assuming no urgent situations arise - there has been much tension in the Daadydutorg Strait lately which has been demanding much of my time.
I look forward to receiving your picture, that I may know you better and rejoice in a new member helping with the fight for our precious squid.
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 14th Sep '04
 
Dear sir,
 
Thanks for your mail and the correction. I am happy to inform you that the consignment has already been confirmed to arrive in spain. I will give you the name of official to contact in madrid tommorrow when i get the information. I will keep you posted with all details as i get them. I am looking forward to an everlasting relationship with you. May God bless you.
 
Regards,
 
Gab
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 14th Sep '04
 
DEAR SIR,
 
WHAT IS GOING ON ? WHY THE COMMUNICATION SILENCE? PLEASE I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU TO KNOW EXACTLY THE STATE OF OUR TRANSACTION. I NEED TO FORWARD THE DETAILS OF THE DIPLOMAT IN SPAIN FOR YOU TO CONTACT THEM AND PROCEED. I NEED A NUMBER TO REACH YOU, THE ONE YOU GAVE ME IS EVER ON VOICE MAIL.
 
REGARDS,
 
GAB
 
Another voicemail this morning! Nothing fun just a fairly desperate sounding South African wanting to speak to me.
 
Gandalf McFly - 14th Sep '04
 
Dear Mr Mukanabe
 
I apologise for my delay in getting back to you but as I said there has been great turmoil with the greedy Swiss fishermen and care for our beloved brine-based invertebrates must be my number one consideration.
I did receive your voicemail message but you did not use the reference phrase I asked you to give (the P.I.S.S.O.F.F. Purple Helmet Campaign) which meant it was delayed in reaching me and I have not yet received your photograph. I have no proof that you are who you say you are! You must remember that I am placing great trust in you in this venture and I have asked very little, I just need to know that our business will be conducted in a professional manner. I need to know that you are serious about this and are willing to compromise as you seem to be promising much but delivering little.
My work takes me out of the office much but I always have access to my email and it is by far the easiest method of communication for me. Once I have received your photograph and details of your Spanish contact I will make my flight arrangements.
 
Peace be upon your elbow
 
Yours
 
Gandalf McFly
 
Finance Director
S.O.S. Marine Conservation
 
He sounded pretty narked and there was no way I was speaking to him in real life so I thought I'd fight fire with fire and act pissy at him.
 
Gabriel Mukanabe - 20th Sep '04
 
DEAR SIR,
 
Thanks for your mail. I am sorry for the late response. I am ever serious on this issue, i will give you my photo by tommorrow, as well as the details of the spanish contact. The picture will have to be scanned and i dont have a scan, i need to do it at the biz center very far from where i stay. I am committed to my our agreement and my zeal to be your member. But you only sent me a group picture and i could not pick you from the three guys, let me know exactly whao you are among the three.
 
Keep me posted.
 
Regards,
 
Gab
 
I think I've got him!!!!!!