Films
These reviews were originally posted on my long-lived web forum which, after six great years, eventually went the way of the Dodo. However I there was too much great content for me to let it all die so the reviews have been moved to their new home here on TheDaddy.org.
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Max Payne
» by Xander on Fri 15th Oct '10 10:50PM
0/10
Every single review of Max Payne I read said it was to paraphrase a festering dog turd. I persevered and insisted on pursuing the vague notion in my brain that it was somehow good or ok. This is because I'm a fan of the game which combined action and a reasonable tongue in cheek noir plot. Unfortunatley the comparison with the dog mess is quite frankly being nice to the film.

Now to be fair to the makers, the magic formula for the how to make a good computer game has not been pulled off in say the same way the superhero movie has. See nearly every single superhero film since Superman the Movie to Kick Ass for evidence and realise generally it's the same plot. Now what makes said superhero formula work so well is that in general they took the good aspects of the comic and made it accessable. Surely not a million miles away from what the a computer game adaptation needs to do?

Not for the makes of Max Payne they have taken the simple plot of the game, evil corporation makes highly nasty acid like drug tripy drug and sells on the streets and kills Max's wife, and make it almost incomprehensible. It was like the makers suddenly decided to make a mystery out of the thing. Unfortunately this is a computer game adaptation and we know who the badies are especially if your a fan of the game or were not born yesterday. It doesn't help that the screen writer decided to use all the names from the game and only slightly change how what they do in the film.

The action in this film is crap and there is not nearly enough of it. The game had bullet time but for some reason the film doesn't bother to use it. Now I know post Matrix bullet time is a bit old hat but it was Max's thing! In fact you watch the movie just begging for the action to begin but no it's just going to dreary along with the possible promise of some and doesn't deliver.

What the film does add is some tripy angels. Now this film is not supernatural in the slightest. So the angels turn up look sinister and make shadows then disappear. So what was the point, well there wasn't one in fact it looked like the director just liked them.

Speaking of direction, this guy directs music videos. I'm convinced I haven't bothered looking it up but he must direct music videos. I actually watched bits of the movie and nearly expected to see Metalic or someone pretending to play guitars.

Let me sum up it's boring I mean really boring.
District 13
» by Amanshu on Tue 13th Apr '10 4:55PM
8/10
Billed as 'the free running/parkor movie' this French language film follows the adventures of Leito, a heroic parkor expert, and Damian, a supercop martial artist, as they struggle to free District 13, a Parisian inner-city, from the clutches of Taya, a ganglord.

Basically it's all about the running and the fighting. And the flipping. Jumping, leaping, bounding, falling, rolling.

Guns, there's lots of guns and a clean-bomb. Plus a car-chase sorta.

It's all about the running.
Harry Brown
» by Xander on Fri 20th Nov '09 6:14PM
10/10
Some have said this is the British Gran torino but this comparison does neither film justice.

The film starts with hoodies committing crime and filming themselves on mobile phones. So far so 21st Century Britain. But then become almost Ken Loach in its social realism as we see Harry Brown (Michael Cain) coping with being a pensioner on a rough housing estate.

After Harry's best mate is murdered by the local hoodies he starts taking the law into his own hands. Here the film treads a fine line between serious drama and potential ridicule. Luckily the film manages to stay on the side of drama.

Cain is terrific as Harry Brown as he plays a man who is both vulnerable pensioner and very cool very credible vigilante.

The film is undeniably British featuring our top fears, hoodies, drug dealers, rioting, inept police, and knife crime. It makes for some disturbing viewing.

In short brilliant. Trailer is below but doesn't quite reflect the film which is distinctly grittier.


Star Trek
» by Xander on Sun 10th May '09 8:59AM
9/10
A fantastic bit of re-imaging and works really well. JJ. Abrams has done the impossible and managed to produce a Star Trek film both fans (Trekkies) and lay persons can enjoy.

What we have is a roller coaster of a movie. The film plunges right in with heavy action and then rolls on from there. Cast are great and show some wonderful chemistry. Zac Quinto and Chris Pine are great as Spock and Kirk respectively. Stand outs performances from the rest of the cast go to Karl Urban as Bones and Simon Pegg as Scotty. Eric Banna as chief baddy is excellent and is the best Star Trek bad guy since Kahn.

The retro-1960's look of the set is great and not at all distractnig. The effects are brilliant and manage not to distract from the film.

The only flaw with the film is it's pacing which has two speeds fast and faster, blink and you miss the climax. But great fun all the way a sequel is definately on the way.

Not everyone is going to be happy some Trekkie is going to take exception to it and the film does mess with the cannon a bit but that's all explained away. Sod the fans though this is a Trek film for everyone.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
» by Xander on Thu 7th May '09 10:52PM
0/10
I can't emphasis what an absolute dog turd of movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine turned out to be. This film should be great and who knows what went wrong in pre-production.

The script is aweful and full of horribly predictable turns and twists. It actually feels like each scene was writen by a different writer then stuck together and not very good writers at that. If you don't see the twist coming a mile away

For an origin story not a lot happens to our main character or changes him in any way. Gets adimantium claws, check. Vengeful vendeta against half brother, check. Actuall development as a character, none existent.

Poor Hugh Jackman, he's actually a very likeable actor and must have put himself through a lot of grueling gym work to play Wolverine.

The other X-Men characters are either boring or underused. The blog has a pointless scene with some really crap jokes in it. Deadpool played by Ryan Reyonlds starts of as a great quirky character then disapears about 10 minutes in. When Gambit appears you just don't care which is a shame for such a popular character, doesn't help that the actor is frankly a bit crap as Gambit.

Even the action is pretty dull and low key considering how much money they must have spent. Annoyingly this has topped the box office and sequel is even as I write in the pipeline and a Deadpool spin off. Something the movie does not deserve.

Twelve Monkeys
» by Xander on Sun 5th Apr '09 8:56AM
9/10
Something of a career turning point for everyone involved. For Terry Gilliam it was a film that made money and was yet another film were he directed someone elses script. All his quirkyness and the humor and bizarness are all there. This makes the film hard to fit as it crosses plenty of genres it isn't quite Sci-fi and it isn't quite drama or comedy, but this is it's strength.
Bruce Willis delivers the performance of his career, managing to pull off tough guy and sensitive in all the right places. Brad Pitt is also at his best playing crazy and pulling off comedy.
Strangely under-rated and deserves more viewing that it gets. Go watch it. If you buy the DVD release and have any interest in how films are made it's worth watching the Hamster Factor documentry on the making of the film.


» Second Opinion by Demian on 08th May '09
9.5/10
One of my all-time faves. Pay particular attention to the final scene to fully appreciate the wierdness. Also have a look at 'La Jete'(sp?), the french short film it's loosely based on.
Watchmen
» by Xander on Tue 17th Mar '09 9:28PM
8/10
As a graphic novel Watchmen is unusual in approach to telling what is a fairly complex story using reports and poetry and intermingling another separate stories into its narrative. Not unsurprisingly it’s been long considered nearly impossible to film. Zack Snyder (300) has managed to produce a very faithful adaptation of Watchmen, but it doesn’t necessarily make a great film.
For none fans of the graphic novel the plot is simple in an alternative 1985 an ex-superhero is murdered and his old colleagues begin to investigate. This one murder leads onto more sinister plots and the tension mounts as the USA and Soviet Union are on the brink of nuclear war.
Visually it’s fantastic and Snyder has done a fantastic job of using every frame to tell Watchmen’s story in a spectacular way. In the style of his own 300 and Sin City Snyder has reproduced in celluloid many of the images found in the original graphic novel.
Royschach’s every changing face mask and beaten up coat could have been taken straight from the drawing board Dave Gibson as is Dr Manhattan swinging blue cock included. Gibson’s art has dated somewhat and Night Owl and Silk Spectre get an update.
Casting is likewise straight on the ball and Snyder has cast to look like the characters. The main icon of Watchmen was The Comedian with his blood stained smiley face badge and Jeffrey Dean Morgan manages to capture the character perfectly.

It must also be pointed out that this is a very violent movie and Snyder has earned his 18 certificate with ultra violence and nudity. Fighting is suitably barbaric and graphic. More disconcerting is the gore as Dr Manhattan liquidizes people. This is a superhero film for grownups.

In parts a dark noir and in others a family saga with a dollop of time philosophy, oh and a bit of male impotence and costume sexual fetishism. There is a lot going on and it’s a credit to Snyder he manages to get it to work so well. Even the backdrop is complex; the films set in an alternative 1985 were Nixon is still the president.

Here is where the film slightly unravels. Though it’s a great job at time you do get the feeling of being told the story instead of being shown it especially during the Dr Manhattan part of the story. But for an adaptation of a said to be un-filmable graphic novel it’s a great effort.


» Second Opinion by Allen Key on 20th Mar '09
8/10
Haven't read the GN, went to see this because the trailers looked fab and also because Wil Wheaton nearly done a wee when he blogged about it. Was a bit worried I might go all girly at the gore, but there were only a couple of bits where I had to look away (cleaver/buzzsaw - gah). Loved Rorschach and The Comedian, and was quite impressed at how quickly I got over ZOMG glowing blue penis!!1!!! As a noob, I don't think I missed anything vital and I did enjoy it, although I was definitely feeling the nearly-3-hoursness by the end. Will probably get hold of the GN, if only to find out what the pointy-headed tiger thing was.
Yes Man
» by Xander on Thu 5th Feb '09 4:59PM
5/10
Pleasantly surprised by this one usually I avoid Jim Carey comedy films like an outbreak of abola. But this ones central concept made it interesting and Carey managed to keep himself under control.

Carey's character always says no to everything to the extent that he spends every evening at home by himself. Then after finding himself at a self help talk he begins saying yes to everything.

The comedy is predictable but entertaining. Probably best waiting for the DVD release.


Arlington Road
» by Agentgonzo on Mon 2nd Feb '09 1:01PM
10/10
Set in Washington, Michael Faraday (Jeff Bridges) is a lecturer on American Terrorism (this is pre-WTC attacks) at the university. As he gets to know his neighbour, Oliver Lang (Tim Robbins), he starts to suspect that he's not the architect that he claims to be - or at least, he isn't working on the projects he claims to be. As he starts snooping around he discovers more discrepancies in his past and starts to think that he is involved in terrorism. I'll stop with the synopsis there so I don't ruin the plot.

Anyway, this film is just fantastic. It starts off at an unassuming pace and there is nothing unsettling in it, but gradually gets more and more intense as it builds up and just utterly sucks you into the storyline. The characters are totally believable in all their actions and motives and I spent about the last 40 minutes of the film totally engrossed and un-aware of the world around me. Some fantastic direction has made this psychological thriller one of my favourite films of all time.
The Machinist
» by Xander on Sun 1st Feb '09 10:54AM
8/10
Trevor Reznik (Christian Bale) is not a well man he hasn't slept in a year and isn't eating. Strange mesages begin appearing on his fridge and after a horrific acident at the factory he works at things get weirder. Reznik becomes increasing paranoid that someone is messing with him.

The film is a mystery and it's best to go in knowing as little as possible. In many ways this could have been a film David Lynch could have made and one can't help but wonder how much director Brad Anderson and writer Scott Koser were influenced by Lost Highway and Erasorhead. Like a Lynch film the Machinist is very much an exercise in mood.

The films elements are all there and make for a suitably sureal story. After the final twist is revealed it's interesting to look back at all the clues we are given which nicely ties everything off.

What is slightly disapointing is the pace. The paranoia and tension could have been cranked up a notch but instead Anderson goes for slow boil in a 1 hour 36 minute film.

One must also have a bit of sympathy for Bale who looks absolutely dreadful and is little more than a sack of bones. It's not that his method acting is not impressive but that the story really makes nothing of his appearence and he would have gotten away with it by looking slightly lean.

I have given the film a extra point for having Michael Ironside in it who has somehow got a career in films were he looses a limb. An arm and both legs in Starship Troopers, both arms in Total Recall and a head in Highlander II. Perhaps it's in his contract.


» Second Opinion by General on 02th Feb '09
8/10
A dark and well made film with a somewhat guessable twist.
Worth a watch provided you don't mind feeling a little depressed by the end.
Slumdog Millionaire
» by Xander on Sun 18th Jan '09 7:15PM
10/10
Jamal is a contestent on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. As a slumdog from the slums that suround Mumbai how can he know the answers to the questions? Jamal is accused of cheating and the police want to know how he knows the answers.

At it's heart it's a love story. To write anymore would give away too much.

Dany Boyle direction is imaginative and frankly brilliant. Definately deserved the awards and many more. The cast is all great especially the young actors who play Jamal at various stages of his life.

Without telling you why this is the only film I've ever seen were people stay and watch the end credits.

Go see it it's great.





» Second Opinion by Spanners on 20th Jan '09
10/10
Fantastic film! Dark, gritty and heartwarming all at the same time.
Zack & Miri Make A Porno
» by Xander on Fri 5th Dec '08 5:13PM
7/10
Platonic friends Zack and Miri try to solve their financial difficulties by making a porn film staring themselves. Understandably this somewhat complicates their relationship.

Kevin Smith was cool in the early 90's with Clerks (the film for those in crappy retail jobs) but as he has got older arguably it's time to mature. To that effect he made Jersey Girl and his fans wept. Because when Smith bounced back with Clerks 2 he realised something and that something is stick with the dick and fart jokes.

This is precisely what Smith does with Zack & Miri. His trade mark diologue is right in there and his willingness to say things you wouldn't dream of. His genius in this respect all present and correct. Fans will want to watch this.

Arguably his central concept is not that strong. Porn is basicly not that funny and it's noticable that the best gags are all non-porn related. The film does get very sentimental about half way through and it jars slightly. Clearly from anyone who has read Smith's diary this is something he would not notice himself.

Like Clerks 2 this is not a film to watch with your Aunt Em. Although Jay and silent Bob do not feature, Jason Mews has a lot of screen time. Most of it spent naked and if you find Jason Mews naked funny then you will like this. If like me you could have done without then not much so. Be warned as well you will not be able to see R2D2 with any child like inocence after watching.

Cast and crew are great. If your a Smith fan go watch it and enjoy. If you hated any of his other movies don't bother.

WARNING: Trailor not suitable for work.


» Second Opinion by Demian on 06th Dec '08
8/10
Very funny indeed, probably not Kevn Smith's best but I'd definitely say in the top three. If you're at all shockable, don't do it

As Xander pointed out, it does suffer from the same affliction as almost all good comedies, which is that most of the funny is in the first half but it eventually has to give way to plot development, however Smith has tried very hard to keep plenty of comedy moments in throughout. I don't think the trailer above does it justice at all.
Quantum of Solice
» by Xander on Sun 2nd Nov '08 4:48PM
5/10
Casino Royale really pushed the envelope out on Bond films and re-ignited the franchise. Sadly Quantum has failed to progress Bond any further after the promising start of Casino. If anything it feels like a step backwards to the old camp days but with none of the humour that made them watchable.
This is a pitty and a shame that it's not progressed with Bond's character. He is still the very same man from the end of Casino. It would have been good had they managed again to push the envelope on developing Bond.
The film does not lack merit and the action sequences are fantastic if a little to frentic. Feels a little bit too much like Bourne, and that junior franchise is still leading the pack. We still get some good Bond like imagery. The girls are still gorgious and the villians very villian like. In one scene we get an interesting 21st century take on the woman painted gold from Gold Finger only this time in oil.
Ok and worth seeing if action is your thing but just average.
Mystery Men
» by Demian on Tue 30th Sep '08 9:21AM
8/10
Mr Furious, whose power stems from his boundless tantrums rage, leads a group of unlikely superheroes into battle against the evil Cassanova Frankenstein. The crew includes The Shoveller, who has a shovel, the boy who can turn invisible... but only when nobody is watching him, and The Blue Raj, a cutlery-flinger who fails to wear any blue.

Utterly stupid, probably entirely worthless in terms of great film, but thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish with a few hilarious lines.
» Second Opinion by Spanners on 01th Oct '08
8/10
My favourite character was the PMS Avenger who is really grumpy only works three days a month

» Second Opinion by Xander on 30th Sep '08
8/10
Great fun and very silly.
The Strangers
» by Spanners on Mon 22nd Sep '08 8:12PM
6/10
It's been a long time sine I've seen a film with quite so little plot and dialogue. There are probably a hundred sentences in the whole thing and literally 30 seconds of plot. The entire film is all about suspense in a very 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'-esque manner.
Normally this wouldn't be my sort of thing yet I really quite liked it. I found myself glued to the screen, jumping at all the right places and even doing some light cowering.
If you like a scary film then I doubt you will be disappointed. If you don't then there's nothing here for you as there is nothing else to it but suspense, frights and gore.